Building a quality network organically takes time and steady effort. It means interacting, writing good quality stuff, sharing, caring, and (yes) getting away from the computer screen to meet some of these fine people in real life. And, wonderfully enough, when you build deep connections with a smaller number, you grow your network anyway. Because people want to share you with their friends.
I zero'd in on that quote above from Steve Woodruff's article last week, "Are You a 'Connection Collector'?". I especially connected with the part highlighted in bold text. For me, that's the live extension of the "social" component in "social networking." It's also the venue that helps answer common questions like, "what now?", after folks make those initial connections online.
In previous articles (ref "Social networks aren't point solutions") I've written about the interconnectedness of channels like Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn. In those articles, I also touted the importance of including live meetups in the mix. But, I also understand that extending the conversation to a one-on-one meetup over coffee or lunch can also be a bit intimidating. "What will we talk about?" "She might think I'm trying to sell something." "How do I position it?"
And, face it, for those on the receiving end of a meeting request, silent questions come up like, "What's she selling?" "I'm not sure we have anything in common." "Is it worth my time?" Or, if you're in demand, "Gawd, that's the third one this week."
So, yeah, I get it. Extending the conversation one-on-one from online to mainline can be a lot of pressure.
So here's a suggestion: Don't.
Why pressure yourself?
Instead, think big before going small. What I mean is, why not start with meeting in a bigger group before suggesting a one-to-one meetup?
Think about it. One of the dynamics that makes online networking less intimidating is the community aspect of it. That is, no single person is required to carry the conversation by himself. Many people contribute. Some choose to stay on the sidelines until they get "more comfortable." Then, they gradually wade into the pool with a comment here, a comment there... Even if they don't post anything, there's still value gleaned from browsing profiles and reading the contributions of others.
Live group meetups can be a wonderful thing. It's the live/"real world" extension of the online community. Meeting a group of six, ten or twenty folks at Starbucks, a restaurant or someone's barbecue can be a lot less intimidating than requesting a one-on-one meetup. And, I'd venture to say, potentially more fruitful in terms of the numbers of live connections you can make.
But, what if there's one specific person you wanted to meet from Twitter or LinkedIn? Well, here's a thought, why not invite her/him to a live/group meetup? Offer to pay for the first drink, cup of coffee, sandwich, whatever. Talk about who else will be at the group meet and point out how some of those folks might also share some points in common with you both.
By extending online conversations to live group meetings, you can take a lot of the pressure of one-on-one meetings off of your shoulders while also setting a nice little "proving ground," of sorts, for a gradual step towards a one-on-one meeting.
For my part, I'm in Orange County, CA. If you're in the area, I've got the following live meetups coming up:
- American Society for Training and Development, Orange County Chapter (ASTD-OC): Topic: Social Networking - May 27.
- OC Tweetup. Meetings monthly... somewhere. Check our Facebook page for upcoming events.
- Social Media Club - Orange County (SMCOC).
If you're in the vicinity of Orange County, CA and we're connected online, I hope to see you at one of the upcoming live meetups above. Or, if you have one of your own that you think I might be interested in, let me know. I'm always up for meeting new folks. :)
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